When it's really sub-zero weird things happen.
You're froze OUT of your car. Really.
The door gaskets freeze shut.
And then the door handles break when you reef on 'em to get in.
That's when the air around the car door often turns blue and very warm, but not warm enough to thaw the door gasket.
(Lesson 1 in sub-zero weather:
Try to open the passenger door first.
Life is just easier later on.
Trust me.)
And the tires get weird.
They're supposed to be round, right?
Nuh-uh.
It takes about 5-7 miles for them to go from slightly-trapezoidal to round.
Yeah. It's a little bumpy.
(Note to self: Do NOT try to drink scalding hot coffee until at least 8-9 miles down the road.)
I put up with the above-mentioned problems so I can get to work where I fire up my antiquated CPU and its perceived 2.4 inch monitor,
which grows to its normal 14 inches after two more cups of the Elixir.
Some days, like the last 12, it just doesn't seem worth it.
Then that screensaver pops up.
Ohhhhhh...yeahhh.
It's a picture that deices my winter gloom and warms my frozen mind.
A brilliant white sand beach.
A shallow, wide lagoon with robin-egg-blue, transparent water.
And where the water turns a deeper blue there's a little blip of an island.
Just big enough for three tall palm trees.
Three trees and white sand in crystal blue water.
And beyond that there's a sparkling sea that eventually hugs a blue, almost-cloudless sky at the far horizon.
Oh, yeah.
I swear I feel sand in my shoes.
Well, I'm sure I will once my feet thaw out.
I settle back, staring at the screen . . . and it hits me.
He has already given me a screensaver. Well, sort of.
Something to look at when life gets cold.
And the road gets bumpy.
And I scald myself.
And things get broken.
A book that paints a picture of where I'm going.
Reminding me that the ticket's already purchased and validated. That the entire trip is already paid for.
Talk about a vacation home, eh?
I take a swig of the Elixir and close my eyes.
Wow.
I swear I can feel those streets of cobblestoned gold.
Huh.
That can only mean one thing.
My feet are thawing out.