Yep.
I'm protesting the start of this morning.
The early morning is my time.
The sun isn't up and the family is.
Or at least, they shouldn't be.
I'm in the Library reading, getting ready for that calming routine of shower, shave, and Elixir.
I've just started a new chapter* before the hurried knock on the door.
"Dad - I'm gonna explode."
TechnoBoy is being mugged by last night's Youth Group pizza.
I bail out, almost getting run over when I open the door.
I stand in the hallway, a little perplexed as to my next move.
Elixir.
I wander into the kitchen for my cup which, due to the hour and regressing hand-eye coordination, overflows with the Elixir of Knowledge.
As I sop up the puddle, I hear the voice of Maxwell Smart taunting me.
"Missed it by thiiiiiis much."
I plop down at the Table in the Dining/Living/Family/Computer Room and fire up the laptop.
As I do, I hear TechnoBoy come outta the Library.
He staggers by, heading back to bed.
"Thanks, Dad."
I take a long pull of the Elixir and start to stand up.
That's when I hear the Library door open and shut.
The Wife.
Then I hear the shower kick in.
The silent rant begins.
This is my time, people!
MY TIME!
It's the same silent rant I use when I go to church on Sunday and
SOMEONE IS SITTING IN MY SPOT.
Yeah.
There I am in the House of God.
To worship Him.
To hear from Him.
And the first thing I wanna do is go all "Sheldon" on 'em.
("That's my spot. You're in my spot.")
Yeah.
I can get pretty egocentric.
Like a little kid.
I should be mature.
A grown-up.
Putting off childish things.
My mind, jolted by the Elixir, begins to stroll, then race down this rabbit trail.
Hey, I deserve it. I'm worth it.
I want my:
time, thing, place, recognition, rights, respect, and way.
Now.
Right NOW!
If I don't look out for myself - WELL, WHO WILL, EH?!!!
My mind, breathing hard from its ranting manifesto, stops for air.
I take a quick pull of the Elixir.
That's just enough time for a still small Voice to walk over and stand next to my heaving mind.
And what about Me?
Me, the mind, and the coffee cup, all stop.
My mind hears a low chuckle and my soul feels a hug gently pulling me closer.
I have it all covered.
Do as I tell you.
I love you. Very much.
Again, that warm, deep chuckle.
And, sitting at the Table, I swear I feel a light kiss on my head.
Trust me.
Yeah. Okay.
Sorry.
This Sunday, when some new guy and his family is in my spot, I'll smile, say "hi", and move on as my mind quotes Scripture.
"Get thee behind me, Sheldon."
*(The book I was reading in the Library caused this revelation.
It's "Not A Fan" by Kyle Idleman.
A fun, witty, uncomfortably life-rearranging book.
I'd like to have a cup of Elixir with this guy.)