It's the Bro-In-Law on the phone.
"Hey," I answer back.
"Need your help. Gotta move a tub."
"You get one of those fiberglass enclosure things for the Farm House?"
"Nope. Got it at a remodel. They were gonna throw it out. It's a cast iron claw-foot tub. A big sucker."
We're both silent for a second. Two "past-the-prime-of-physical-prowess" guys imagining how we're gonna move a 400lb bath tub.
We arrive at the same conclusion at the same time.
He articulates it first.
"Ya better bring the Kid."
Two hours later, me, the B-I-L, and TechnoBoy are in the pickup, heading toward The Challenge.
We pile outta the truck - and there it is.
Upside down and white.
Liked a beached beluga.
The B-I-L had already taken off the legs and the drain stuff.
All that's left is the beluga.
TechoBoy, with all the pride and mental ignorance of youth, strides over, squats down, and grabs the lip of the tub. He quivers for a bit then stands up.
"It's heavy."
Outta the mouths of babes.
My Irish heritage kicks in along with a mental rerun of those erectile dysfunction commercials.
"Work smart first."
The B-I-L had brought along a couple of 2x8 homemade ramps.
With a little sliding, a lotta grunting, and some unspoken mild profanity, we get the tub onto the boards.
Repeating the aforementioned process gets the tub into the back of the truck.
Realizing we're still basically in the same shape as when we started, we happily climb into the cab to take our captured, cast-iron beluga to the storage complex.
Once there, we reverse the process, sliding the tub down the ramps, barely stopping it before it crashes through two salvaged 3x6-foot mirrors.
We close and lock Storage Unit #9 and pile back into the truck.
While heading for "MickeyD's of the 49-cent Vanilla Cones", we discuss if we could've done that to an actual beluga whale.
Yeah. We're geniuses.
Now home in the safety and comfort of the Chair with the warm stimulation of the Elixir of Knowledge, a thought wanders through the room and climbs comfortably into my head.
Storage Unit #9 now contains two wall ovens, a stove, two dressers, a kitchen countertop, a set of kitchen cabinets, two still-intact large mirrors, a bathroom vanity with sink, and a baby-beluga-sized wrought iron claw-foot bath tub.
All waiting for the completion of the Farm House remodel that the B-I-L and Sister Here are doing on the 1.1 acres outside of town.
Now to other people, these items were considered worthless.
Relegated to the junk pile.
But the B-I-L & Sister Here saw the quality and beauty these items would bring to their new home.
A home not yet finished but seen clearly in their minds.
Huh.
Kinda like the rejected Cornerstone which ended up making The Building.
Making a whole New World, actually.
And what about storing up things that the world rejects for that new home in that New Neighborhood?
The one where moth and rust won't corrupt and there's no need for locks on the doors.
Fear-free living.
Forever.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good investment.
A very smart investment.
Of the longest possible term.
Another pull of the Elixir brings a completely unrelated thought.
I wonder how we're gonna get that beluga upstairs into the bathroom.